我是innocence 你是crudeness溫柔的廢墟 II by 錯別字大王
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Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Charles兄見面時 不時跟我說: 
"我們以後不會再見了..."

除了直覺 他快要結婚 以後不得見其他女人外 
我想不了 更正面的理由

回家後 我覺得...
見面 真的有點像 終結的開始...


Thursday, July 02, 2009

Don't bury Michael Jackson please

Just finished watching Anderson Cooper 360 and found out Michael Jackson hasn't indicated where he wants to be buried. (see Living with Michael Jackson 5/9 1:30)

I felt really sad for America, not only the downhill-going of businesses, also for losing an international pop icon last Thursday. Michael Jackson is one of the asset of USA, the King of Pop originated from America! He is a gift for America, not only he's born as a superb performer, his boldness to change his skin from black to white reflects the culture of USA, demonstrating the idea of freedom, a freedom to change even your skin color, to be strong and do what the heck you want.

I don't think MJ should be buried, at least not in Gary in Indiana. I don't know the reason he rejected public viewing of Neverland when he was still alive. I wonder if he mentioned anything in his will regarding NL. Some people mentioned that he should rest in peace in NL, since that's his home, the Realm he created with his only hands.

But personally, I don't want him to be buried. Remember when we were young, people talked about star Elvis and we wondered who he is. Although I went over so many you-tube videos, overwhelming impersonations through the decades just confuses me who he actually is. I think they should preserve Michael Jackson's body, just like the soap lady in Mutter Museum, a piece of wonder, or even an art-work left to the world. Considering MJ as a pioneer of plastic surgeries, changing his skin-color, making his body a piece of man-made artifact, he has already contributed his whole self for media, art and even medical science.

Ideally, is to have a museum of him, with his preserved body in a bullet-proof glass room. People from ALL OVER THE WORLD can come over when they have vacations and take a glimpse of the international pop-star. They can bring their kids with them in the future, telling them there was once a man like MJ fighting all the controversies and unsolved mysteries. Not only that would generate some profits for the poor America, it's the only way to slow down the losing a sublime legend of United States.


















Tuesday, June 02, 2009

約會前一小時 我突然退縮.
不知 你是否刻意打扮 而來不及聽我留的留言.

不知 這已是第幾次...
縱使你知我是個飛機王, 縱使你也是個飛機王.

我沒問自己 為什麼要再見你,
因我已肯定 若再找你 必定是生活空虛所致.

每每想到 過去那幾年你怎麼愧待我...
怎麼 要我買下你用過的電器,
怎麼 我嗌破喉嚨 你也不瞅不睬,
怎麼 重要關頭 老早失效的奪命追魂call,
怎麼 長期獨留我一人在家 讓我"耦"一個比現實生活充實的網誌...

我就更肯定
離開你 必定是我送給自己 其中一份最好的禮物.
(但 卻失去了比現實生活充實的網誌)


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

! yay! I've finally seen my xanga favorites!


Monday, April 20, 2009

<3

I've been wanting to write this for a long time. Well, nothing special, nelnel is still alive, just that I don't think I can see him anymore.

I never thought I would like dog. Despite the fact that seeing a lot of homeless dogs wandering on the streets in Hong Kong with flea on them, my ex used to tell me that his ex was crazy about dogs, I don't want to be just like her, so I told myself not to like dogs.

My ex used to say his dog, Nelnel, is way better than me, at least he won't complain. My ex used to tell me that he missed his dog while we were just shopping in the mall. And I would say, "But your dog is at your house, you can see it as many times, as long as you want!" I got a little bit jealous of Nelnel sometimes, especially I was acknowledged he was named after of my ex's ex^n. I met Nelnel in person in 2002. I don't think he liked me particular when he first saw me, but he didn't hate me either. It's obvious that walking the dog and cleansing his feet(legs) is quite time-consuming, I was immediately "appointed" to be a dog-walker, and that was the first time, I got a chance to touch fresh dog poops that's warmer than my hands.

I didn't know why my ex did that, but he always competed (I don't know if compete is the right word) for Nelnel's love, with me. He would call Nelnel's name while I was playing with Nelnel. Seeing Nelnel walking off from me, he would demonstrate a winning mischievous grind, "Who is the daddy now?" he would say. I am the type hates being a loser, especially for this stupid dog love competition. So, I thought to myself, I must spoil this dog so my ex wouldn't be this "duck chik"(cocky) anymore! That was my intention.

During the "home-stay"(staying at my ex house while his parents were gone), I walked with nelnel 3 times a day! I am the one who served him food, pat him and kissed him while he was resting on the floor (I blew air in his ears to seduce him sometimes, haha!) I love to play hide and seek with him although he might wonder how can I not be bored with this. When I knew my ex only took him to a standard route, I took him to a new route, longer route, with more dog pee scents! "Patronize", I think that's the word, I patronized him. Ever since I got my driver license, I even took him out on weekends. Nelnel is known for his motion sickness and fear of traveling, my ex said he would puke in the car sometimes. Also, he didn't know how to sit still, just like Marley in Marley & me. My ex told me the first time they went out, Nelnel jumped out the window... and pooped on the street! (Yah, he poops when he is nervous I guess)

As I expected, I nailed the "competition quickly." Nelnel no longer walked off from me no matter how hard my ex yelled. Whenever I called his name, he rushed to me worrying that he might miss the walk if I couldn't find him. BTW, Nelnel knew few Chinese sentence. Besides "Hui Gai Gai"(which means going for a walk), he also recognized "Tung ah Nei Hang"(to walk with nelnel.) My ex said that to me then threw a glance at Nelnel, then I took another glance of Nelnel, then he knew what's going on and come and lay next to me. FYI, My ex is a night owl, always waking me up at 1~2am asking me to walk Nelnel! Nelnel was already very familiar with that act, whenever his "male owner" waking up a "cuddling object" on the sofa, he knew that he was heading out for a walk.

That was the first time I lived with a dog, I was amazed by how much vocabularies a dog knows. He knows "sik suet go" (to eat ice-cream, milky foods are dogs' favorite). He also knows "chung chung" (roaches). Whenever we said "chung chung neh? chung chung hai bin ah?"(where the heck is the roaches?) He would immediately look up and look for the roaches. I once mentioned that I want to have a boyfriend because I want someone to kill these wandering giant roaches /gecko for me. Well, Nelnel is sure a good candidate. He loves to fight with them, for me.

Some of you might question my safety walking with Nelnel 2am in the morning. I always have faith that Nelnel would protect me since he is a Chow Mix. (Chow are aggressive.) But my ex always warned me that Nelnel might actually run away when there is a real danger. He said Nelnel is timid, sometimes he would skip his favorite walk just because there is thunder or lightning. Fortunately, no dangerous moments during my term. To me, Nelnel is like a living alarm, whoever walks by the house, he could sense it and bark until that unidentified moving organism(UMO) moves away.

Cesar Millan (the dog whisperer) once said if you think your dog as a human and treat it like a human, s/he will turn into one. I remembered there was a vacation while everyone was gone, I was left with Nelnel in the house. My ex bought me a bag of tyson BBQ chicken as my reward. I couldn't resist and had the chicken 3 times a day! What I did was to microwave the chicken, I ate meat and gave the rest (skin+bone) to Nelnel. Both of us were very happy sharing this occasional treat. (Later, I learned that dogs are not supposed to have chicken bones, because it's too thin and fragile that might poke their throats.)

Ex always complained Nelnel didn't finish his dog food, because ex's mom used to serve him table food (such as salmon) when she is home. I saw a big bowl of dogfood always got thrown away. (you probably won't store want it in the fridge with human food.) So, I decided to actually prepare the food in scoop, added a little bit of shredded Swiss Cheese, and fed it to his mouth with a spoon, so he won't have to bend his neck to eat. And thank god that worked! I kept talking to him while feeding him and seemed like he was more eager to finish the bowl. I tried to slack off sometimes hoping he would finish the food himself, but that cunning "bastard" dare to walk away! Then I would glare at him, and he would immediately rush back to the food, not to finish it... but to stare at the food with a pathetic look! So I just fed him with the spoon whenever I can, so we can finish the dinner within 10 minutes. Another funny thing about food was that, every time I tried to put plastic wrap over the food, as if I am closing a coffin, Nelnel would run back, take the last glance of the food, sometimes he would be generous enough to give a bite, sometimes he would just walk away.

I guess our relationship grew even better when I got my car and had a chance to take him to picnic. There's a small estate on the opposite side of the lake with a big green lawn. Before we went, I would point across and tell Nelnel, "we are going to the grassland today!" As I mentioned earlier, Nelnel got motion sickness very easily, and my trick is... keep asking him to look ahead! "Stare ahead! Don't look at the floor!" that's what I kept yelling to him, and he actually followed what I said. Once awhile, we would see other people walking with their dogs, and I would tell him "See! Another doggy!"("gau"), and he would know what "gau" is and be so excited. He always cries out loud once he figures we are going somewhere fun. When we arrived, Nelnel couldn't wait to get out of the car. Once I unleashed him, I would remind him there're "duck duck" on the side (he knew what "duck duck"is ) and he would run straight to the ducks to scare them all into the water. Then, he would run crazily from one side to the other, sometimes I would hide myself, seeing him nervously looking for me. (I wonder what he would do if he can't find me.) After all the exhausting run, he would lay next to me and started his signature grass-rolling, touching you "unintentionally". I usually brought some bread with me. It's for the ducks. I feel sorry that Nelnel had scared them. Nelnel would be jealous and fight for the bread even he knew those are not his cup of tea.

Surprisingly, Nelnel is not very sociable, consider the fact that he is a well-groom bachelor. He didn't show affection to any dog. He only got threaten by dogs that's bigger than him. I remembered one time, we walked pass a house and a unleashed rottweiler jumped out and started to bite Nelnel's neck, I freaked out, pulled him away while yelling "No!" But after we escaped, I actually found a smile on Nel face, (yes, he smiles) I guess he thought the rottweiler was playing with him. I don't know, maybe they were.

Ex said Nelnel only likes women, he let female to touch him, but no guys. He likes to stare at hot girl jogging on the street with sport bra, I guess the clear complexion and witty movement catches the eyes. Dogs can sense period, and seema like Nelnel likes me more when I was on my reg. He erected his miniature "lap chong" when he was very happy, such as seeing me come home after a long day. He seldom hums, he once did it to a male electric technician's leg. But later, we found out that whenever my ex spanked my big fat juicy ass, he would 1st. first come to protect me by barking to my ex, asking him to stop, 2nd, he would hum on my leg, with full speed! Although I don't quite know what's going on his mind, I think that's sweet, as if a hero fucking the beauty after he saved her.

Anyways, there was another time that's very touching. My ex and I got into fight a lot, there was a time (several time?), in the middle of the fight, I felt so helpless and burst into tears. For some reason, Nelnel sensed my sorrow, he rushed to me, and jumped to me, making sure his mouth touched mine! He was trying his best to kiss me, to comfort me, because he knew that would make me happy. My ex was stunned when he saw that for the first time, seeing Nelnel cares so much about me. And Nelnel was right, that was one of the happiest moment in my life, knowing he loves me naturally, knowing I've won this stupid dog love competition, naturally.

However, me and my ex broke up last year. Leaving Nelnel wasn't hard, but thinking about him, missing his fluffy body is hard. I don't know why, every time I think about him, think about him trying so hard to poop because I was once mad at him for not pooping for two days. I would have tears running down my face, while he is actually sitting at ex's house, and I can see him if I really want to. "He is just a dog," I said to myself. Indeed, I've visited him once. Of course I took him to our favorite big lawn and let him do his rollings and duck-chasing. While I left, I saw him peeking at me. After that, I always "beg" my bf for a dog even I know it's not plausible in our apartment. I visit the petstore loyally every weekend just for a grasp of fur-balls. I became crazy about dog. Whenever I saw one the street, I would say "doggy" like a 5-years-old. When I have time, I would go on youtube, search for "chow-mix", hoping to find video with Nelnel-lookalike in it. Right now, I know I have to focus more on school and work, but once I am done with whatever, I would look for a chow-mix puppy, hoping I can continue the love left off with Nelnel.



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